How thick or thin skinned are you? Do you easily become uptight and tense, and get stressed when your plans do not go according to your expectations? Don’t take yourself too seriously, because that might be what is going on here.
Perhaps there is little space in your day for fun or spontaneity.
Or maybe disruption to your carefully laid plans causes heightened stress and anxiety – you like to be in control and respond badly when things don’t go to plan.
That comment rankles and festers way beyond the degree to which it should.
You put pressure on yourself to achieve what you need and in the way that you expect to be able to achieve. Other people come along and put a spanner in the works and everything goes pear shaped. It is easy to get frazzled and frustrated and stressed, and sometimes there might be something serious at stake.
But sometimes, it helps to look objectively at what just happened, see that perhaps the level of intensity is a wee bit too high, climb down off our perch and lighten up a bit.
Is the world about to end? Did your colleague really intend to derail you completely with that comment? Or was it simply a superficial remark that encourages you to lighten up a bit?
Don’t take yourself too seriously – genuine people don’t, apparently.
They are sufficiently thick skinned to be able to laugh at themselves and to see beyond comments that might cause offense where none was actually intended. This is about control and the amount of control we try to take over things that are – well, uncontrollable.
Because here’s the thing though – we can’t always be in control of our lives, and therefore things don’t always go the way we would like or we plan.
Being able to not take ourselves too seriously gives space for changes of direction and light hearted responses in sometimes serious situations that allow us to laugh at ourselves and share that wry humour with others. There will be negative situa
As with all these characteristics of genuine people, this comes back to inner confidence and self-awareness. When we are comfortable in our own skin, when we know who we are, and when we don’t take ourselves and our need to achieve/be liked/be approved of too much to heart, we don’t take ourselves too seriously. We can go through life able to laugh at ourselves without being tipped into a deep hole of insecurity.
Learn to move on.
Let it go. Stop rehashing that conversation. Refuse to rework or overthink what you could have done or what the other person said. Identify what didn’t go the way you wanted and mistakes you made, what you would do differently next time, what you have learned about yourself and move on.
Laugh often and laugh at yourself.
Don’t be afraid to poke fun at yourself. Laugh often, and see the funny side of things where appropriate. (That said, often it is in inappropriate situations that things are most funny – ever tried to stop laughing in a meeting or public event when you got the giggles over something?). Being willing to laugh at yourself suggests that you are comfortable and aware of your own weaknesses. That does not mean that you are ignoring your weaknesses, but simply that you know you are – like everyone – a work in progress. Laughing at yourself keeps things in perspective.
You won’t please everyone.
Be kind, be fair, show integrity. Not everyone will like that or like you, but that is life. Choose to not let narky comments stick and let go of other people’s expectations in favour of being clear in our own minds of who we are and what we can and choose to do. I worked for many years as a physiotherapist (physical therapist). If I had a pound for every time I was called a physio-terrorist or asked when I was going to start the torture, I would be very rich indeed. And if I took all of those comments to heart, I would have spent my career crying in a corner. Being able to laugh, be honest, and build trust into relationships was central to my thick skin.
Don’t take yourself too seriously in your posture.
You know people like this: they see their own importance, find it hard to see the lighter side of anything, are very focused on achievement and targets and don’t like to be wrong. And this comes across in how they stand and present themselves – stony faced, frowning, arms folded, tense. Instead, choose to relax, smile, make open and warm eye contact, laugh often. It works!
And have fun, regularly.
I wish having fun could be on prescription. It is good for the soul, the body, the mind and for keeping a realistic perspective on life. Having fun is great for our creativity
This week, notice where and when you are tempted to take yourself seriously. Choose instead to stop, step outside yourself and be willing to laugh.